Shallow End Trails

How pathetic

I remember everything

Before I could remember

Trying to make sense of lies and clues without rhyme or reason

Wishing I could have had a moment

When I was young

To be a child

Wondering who’s to blame

And when you think about it

When you truly peel the corners back and gaze

Looking back and fourth between illusion and delusion and reality

It is nothing more than a mid afternoon headtrip, it seems

And so I have slipped into the daisies

Made myself at home here

Finally found some peace here

Where no one can see

No one can judge

And if I want to frolic all day, I will

And if I want to strip naked and play, I will

Just don’t make me take that purple pill

Because I don’t want to be grown…  again

And I don’t want to go home…  again

I would so much rather stay here and pretend

Wishing on a star, as he blows it out

Catching it in my palm, turning it all around

And making my wish

Before I blow it back to him

“I wish for magic”

Just as back then

To disappear

To manipulate the seasons

To tiptoe through your mind, then his

Pull all of the great mysteries and secrets into my notebook

And come back home again

In the middle of the night

Home being my skin

Can you feel it, can you feel it, can you feel it

All falling to dust

Like the sinking ships within we used to play

And I always would beg them to linger, as they would fade away

Leaving me on deck, plugging the hole with my thumb

But it is always so much quieter, when they go

At least there is that

And tonight I want only to be carried

Away from these ghosts that always follow

Clinging to me

And their noise is all so loud in my head-loud in my head

Shhhhhh

Let it lie

Leave it still

Take my hand-don’t touch me

Love me love me, leave me to die

And I will never understand why

My mind is a hurricane captured inside a sunny day

And the storms, they leave me aching

Clinging to the driftwood for dear life

And the sunshine, he traces my skin

Makes me shiver, and loves the color back onto my skin

And sin

O sin

A touch and a slip, so easy to fall within

And become swept away

Desire-burning and spreading like the wildfires

That some child with a lighter lit in the florida forests yesterday

Burning all the trees to ash

Lets sit on a pile

And wrestle up a good old memory

May 19, 2008 2:10 PM